Category Archives: Fun

Squirrel Bait

When he spies his prize beyond his touch,
He knows there is nothing he will ever want this much.

 

napowrimo2015Today’s NaPoWriMo prompt was to write a Landay. A poem of 22 syllables originating in Afghanstisan.

I saw this photo on Google a few days ago and felt that it needed captioning. As soon as I saw today’s prompt, I knew exactly what I was going to write!

#NotYet40

It’s Friday night and we are twirling,
The clock’s struck five, it’s time to leave,
Bring on the laughing and the slurring,
Bring on the sunshine and the breeze.

Happy hour’s faintly chirping,
“Oh won’t you have a drink or three?”
Check in on Facebook with the wording,
“Happy Friday, drinks on me!”

Three birthday girls and two are forty,
Three reasons there to raise a toast,
To take blurry selfies – #naughty –
and tweet the ones you like the most.

Let’s live it up, no work tomorrow,
Dance, imbibe and dance some more,
Sad times? Don’t cry, just drown those sorrows,
This right here’s what Friday’s for.

napowrimo2015Today’s NaPoWriMo challenge was to write a social media style poem so I scrolled through my time line taking bits from my friends’ statuses and turned it in to a fun Friday poem! Hope you enjoy it.

Questions, Questions

Did you buy me any more crumpets?

Did this laundry pile somehow get bigger?

Can I have chocolate for breakfast?

Can you please not kick your sister?

 

What costume shall I put on?

What shall I put on for lunch?

Can you be my pretend robot patient?

Can you please remember we do not punch?

 

When are we going to the park?

When did I say the plumber is due?

Can you be the baby wolf in my game?

Can you please give me a minute or two?

 

Have you seen Snakey or Jasper?

Have you two seen my handbag?

Can I have some strawberry milk?

Can you please just go ask your Dad?

 

Why can’t I have another biscuit?

Why is this room such a mess?

Can you make me a house for my Teddy?

Can it please wait ’til I’ve ironed this dress?

 

What are we having for dinner?

When did we run out of bread?

Can you draw me a big Hello Kitty?

Can you please hold on – no not his head!!

 

When will you sew on my scout badge?

When can I run to the shop?

Can you get her to say that she’s sorry?

Can someone please pass me the mop?

 

Who broke my Lego helicopter?

Who moved the shopping list from the fridge?

Can we play cards or a board game?

Can I please quickly chop up the veg?

 

Why can’t I have three bedtime stories?

Why don’t we sing a quick lullaby instead?

Can’t I stay up a teensy bit longer?

Can’t you see Mummy’s in need of her bed?

 

napowrimo2015Today’s NaPoWriMo challenge was to write a poem that takes the form of a dialogue. As I was about to sit down (for the first time today) to work out what to write my daughter came in and asked me to get her some milk, and voilà! Inspiration in abundance! Can anyone else relate…?

 


P.S. The answer to my [in hindsight very poorly written] riddle poem yesterday was that the first two letters from each line spelt out the end of a famous Frank A. Clark quote “life is made of little things”. The whole quote is actually one of my favourites: “Everyone is trying to accomplish something big, not realising that life is made of little things.”…. Don’t think I’ll be writing another riddle poem any time soon!!!

Accomplish Something Big

Listen up and riddle me this,
Fed through two by two, at first,
(Is this making sense yet?
Maybe it first must get much worse…)
Decide what’s really important but
Of course you must forgo the rest,
Listen to these: A5, R8,
TT… which car is the best?
Let me tell you a secret,
The answer was there at the start,
In fact what’s best is the Lexus
GS and the saying by Frank A. Clark.

napowrimo2015Today’s NaPoWriMo challenge was to write a riddle poem. There is a message hidden in my poem above, can you find it??? Maybe I’ll post the answer tomorrow…! 😉

Homo Erectus

I love you when the first light hits,
and I spy the white trails of sleepy spit,
When you yawn and your hot breath wafts my way,
When you sniff your pits and start your day,

I love you when your eye-crust shines,
As your red-veined peepers gaze into mine,
When you scratch your crotch and release some wind,
When your grisly jawline needs a trim,

I love every yucky morning feature,
Before you are man – still a gruffing creature –
I love you like the day we wed,
Except when you fail to make the bed.

napowrimo2015Today’s NaPoWriMo prompt was to write an aubade (a morning love song), so this one is dedicated to my darling husband (who, by the way, really isn’t this bad! 😉 )

Worked to Death, Death to Work!

I’ve had enough
of all the office politics,
Of sickly pricks
and inappropriate wit,
How many ways could I get out of this pit?
Take a hole puncher to my finger tips?
Or perhaps I could just staple my lips,
Or jam pencils into each eye socket,
Use scissors as a hara-kiri sword,
Or hang myself with the telephone cord,
Inhale the aerosols the cleaner has stored,
Or wait for the impending death from being bored,
Being stabbed in the back is
an occupational hazard,
But alas words have proved to be inefficient daggers,
The computers are so old
– pray they explode any minute,
Or lick the keys of the keyboard
– there’s bound to be smallpox within it,
Sniffing glue has been done to death (ha!)
But how about a different orifice?
Perhaps pushpins for some sort of
deathly acupuncture?
I’d settle for anything at this juncture!
So many ways to get out of this pit
But I guess the easiest
would be to man-up and
quit……

Ode to Coffee

I can taste the electrification
as it courses through my nose,
As it sparks each hair like static
and then jolts into my dome.
Rich and full and bitter,
With a depth I’ve never known,
I can all but see the flavour;
It has a body of its own.
The scent whispers to me softly,
Dulcet Siren of the steam,
I can feel her energise me
as she drags me from my dream.
There is no other aroma,
I must pointedly conclude,
That’s so sensuously sating
as my saintly morning brew.

This poem was written using the daily poetry prompt over at Pooky’s Poems. Today’s challenge was to describe a smell.

Out on a Limb

Sometimes, you find yourself out on a limb
for a friend, but then there is no sign of him,
You’re tottering, pondering why you are there,
What possessed you risk it for those who don’t care?
Your kindness was trampled; just dirt on a hoof,
Advantage was taken – how awfully uncouth!
You desperately cling to the good deed you just did,
But be honest; it gets your goat, doesn’t it kid?

 

Image Credit: Getty
Inspired by a piece posted by the Huffington Post

Trippin’

What a trip!
I’m stoned as shit!
A thumping dome
that will not quit!
Hit the wall?
I hammered it!
I think it’s time to hit the bricks!
The streets are dark but
I
am
lit!
(Feet arches kinda ache a bit…)
Man I’m baked!
And I feel sick!
How much did I take of it?
It’s Mason’s fault
…or is it Rick’s?
He told me I should
take
a
hit
and I couldn’t risk just
faking it,
So I took the shit
and that was it!
My mind is like a gravel pit
and the world is spinning kinda quick
…or I’m rocking like
a
psycho
chick…
which is it??
Is this really how they get their kicks?
Man oh man,
What a trip!

napo2014button2This poem was written for NaPoWriMo. Today’s challenge was to incorporate masonry words like bricks, stone, arches, etc… My mind instantly went to ‘being stoned’ but I must point out this is a work of fiction!! I do not take – nor have I ever taken – non-prescription drugs!